Month: January 2003

Science experiments while you drive

Fluid dynamics as played out on the highways…

Once upon a time, years ago, I was driving through a number of stop/go traffic waves on I-520 at rush hour in Seattle. I decided to try something. On a day when I immediately started hitting the usual “waves” of stopped traffic, I decided to drive slow. Rather than repeatedly rushing ahead with everyone else, only to come to a halt, I decided to try to drive at the average speed of the traffic. I let a huge gap open up ahead of me, and timed things so I was arriving at the next “stop-wave” just as the last red brakelights were turning off ahead of me. It certainly felt weird to have that huge empty space ahead of me, but I knew I was driving no slower than anyone else. Sometimes I hit it just right and never had to touch the brakes at all, but sometimes I was too fast or slow. There were many “waves” that evening, and this gave me many opportunities to improve my skill as I drove along.

I kept this up for maybe half an hour while approaching the city. Finally I happened to glance at my rearview mirror. There was an interesting sight.

It was dusk, the headlights were on, and I was going down a long hill to the bridges. I had a view of miles of highway behind me. In the other lane I could see maybe five of the traffic stop-waves. But in the lane behind me, for miles, TOTALLY UNIFORM DISTRIBUTION. I hadn’t realized it, but by driving at the average speed, my car had been “eating” traffic waves. Everyone ahead of me was caught in the stop/go cycle, while everyone behind me was forced to go at a nice smooth 35MPH or so. My single tiny car had erased miles and miles of stop-and-go traffic. Just one single “lubricant atom” had a profound effect on the turbulent particle flow within the entire “tube.”

Subliminal baby toys

A Canadian couple has discovered that the toy aquarium they bought for their 6-month-old son plays a lot more than ocean waves.

Blanche Skelton was feeding her baby when she heard something besides the soothing sound of ocean waves coming from a toy attached to the crib.

It was saying, “I hate you.”

After asking her husband, her parents-in-law, and everyone else in the home east of Hazel Dell, they were convinced. The toy was definitely, albeit quietly, saying “I hate you.”

Blanche’s 6-month-old son, Alex, got the toy as a Christmas present. It makes soothing sounds and music for baby to fall asleep to, with an illuminated picture of a cartoon-style aquarium on the front.

But in between the white noise of ocean waves, a tiny babyish voice pipes up with childhood angst.

Made in China, the toy was sold by Wal-Mart and carries the Kid Connection brand, which is a store brand.

Blanche and her husband, Steve, said they went to the Wal-Mart store Thursday and listened to two other aquarium toys like theirs. Sure enough, there was that creepy voice.

The couple talked to a manager, who scoffed until another employee blurted out that he heard it, too.

Then the manager pledged to get the toy off the shelves, and offered the family a refund, Blanche said. By Friday, the toys were gone from the shelves at the Hazel Dell store.

Shades of They Live?

Please say no to this

A post on the NYC Craig’s List is making the rounds…

Ladies,

Please help me in killing this phrase: “partner in crime”.

Why?

It’s un-funny, too precious, and it has become an awful cliche.

What can you do to help?

1)Don’t use it in personal ads.

2)Advise your friends not to use it in personal ads.

Thanks and best of luck.

Yours,
The English Language

Escape to Tikiland

Immerse yourself in Tiki at this Polynesian-themed apartment building.

Have you ever wished to live in a place where your neighbors appreciate a fine tiki carving, a rare tiki mug, classic exotica, a superbly mixed mai tai? Consider moving to the Lemoyne Lanai, the future clubhouse of the tiki set.

The Lemoyne Lanai is a four unit apartment building situated in Echo Park, just north of Downtown Los Angeles and next door to Silverlake. The Lanai offers very spacious 1 and 2 bedroom apartments! Off street parking! Easy access to many freeways! Hardwood floors!

The Oak Island Mystery

MetaFilter points out several different stories on the legenday Oak Island Money Pit off of Nova Scotia:

There’s no graffiti like Situationist revolutionary graffiti from May 1968

  • In the decor of the spectacle, the eye meets only things and their prices.
  • Boredom is counterrevolutionary.
  • No replastering, the structure is rotten.
  • Reform my ass.
  • The revolution is incredible because it’s really happening.
  • Run, comrade, the old world is behind you!
  • When the National Assembly becomes a bourgeois theater, all the bourgeois theaters should be turned into national assemblies.
  • Warning: ambitious careerists may now be disguised as “progressives.”
  • Please leave the Communist Party as clean on leaving it as you would like to find it on entering.
  • Humanity won’t be happy till the last capitalist is hung with the guts of the last bureaucrat.
  • When the last sociologist has been hung with the guts of the last bureaucrat, will we still have “problems”?
  • Concrete breeds apathy.
  • Coming soon to this location: charming ruins.
  • Art is dead, Godard can’t change that.
  • A cop sleeps inside each one of us. We must kill him.

…as found at the Bureau Of Public Secrets.