This Is A Box…

I was in the UK in 1973 and when I wasn’t running around the elevators in the old Regent Palace (hey, I was eight years old! pushing all the buttons in the elevator is required behavior) I was fascinated by British kids television and distinctly remember seeing an episode of Camberwick Green and some of the associated merchandise over at Hamleys. I can’t place precisely why I remember it well. Maybe it was the apparent mash up of Richard Scarry and Mister Rogers, both of whom were must-see CKB TV back then.

I hadn’t thought about Camberwick Green in thirty-four years. Just one of those odd I-remember-seeing-that-somewhere pieces of memory that rattle around until something jars it loose. Fast-forward to one of the most jaw-droppingly hilarious mental core dumps ever at the beginning of the most recent episode of Life On Mars:

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The biggest innovation to occur since In A Gadda Da Vida hit the charts just 14 short years ago

toast_on_a_stick.jpgR.I.P. Calvert DeForest.

Two things I didn’t know. 1. His great uncle was inventor Lee De Forest. 2. He was still alive. I somehow thought that he had passed away awhile back.


Some obligatory YouTube clips:

Passing out hot towels at the Port Authority bus station

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Run-D.M.C.’s “King Of Rock”

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Biometric uselessness and security theater

Lorna of Lornamatic attempted to purchase a new BMW and encountered a Catch-22 of identity uselessness and privacy holes. She was requested to submit a thumbprint along with copies of her personal data, but none of it is checked for validity – just thrown into a box apparently. She canceled the deal and walked away, but wasn’t able to have her personal data returned (even though no valid contract was signed).

See also: security theater

96 year old mobster pleads guilty

The old mafioso stereotype is Vincent Gigante who spent his later years wandering around Greenwich Village in his pajamas and mumbling to himself. At least supposedly. At 96, Albert Facchiano is still threatening witnesses

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Lucky Luciano, Meyer Lansky and Carlo Gambino are long gone. Murder Inc. is out of business. Las Vegas has been so cleaned up it resembles Disneyland. And Havana? Forget about it since Castro took over. But Albert “Chinky” Facchiano, at 96, is still standing. And like Michael Corleone in “The Godfather III,” he is still very much involved in the family business, according to the FBI.

At an age when most people are long retired and happy just to be alive, the reputed mobster was indicted earlier this year in Florida and New York. He is accused of trying to intimidate and possibly kill a witness against the powerful the Genovese family of New York in 2005. He is also accused of helping to run the rackets in Florida.

Charles “Lucky” Luciano convicted of vice charges, is leaving court on June 18, 1936 handcuffed to two detectives after a hearing in New York. Luciano, Meyer Lansky and Carlo Gambino are long gone. Murder Inc. is out of business. But Albert “Chinky” Facchiano, at 96, is still standing and is still very much involved in the family business, according to the FBI. At an age when most people are long retired and happy just to be alive, the reputed mobster was indicted earlier this year in Florida and New York. He is accused, among other things, of trying to intimidate and possibly kill a witness against the powerful the Genovese family of New York in 2005.

It was unclear whether Facchiano intended to break legs with his own gnarled, 96-year-old hands.

He was a boy when Arnold Rothstein supposedly fixed the 1919 World Series. He was a young man during the Depression when he took his first arrest. He was entering middle age during La Cosa Nostra’s go-go years in the 1940s and ’50s, when the Mafia skimmed its share of America’s postwar prosperity. And he was a senior citizen in the 1980s and ’90s when John Gotti and other bosses were taken down by the FBI.

Couple weeks ago he pled guilty

According to prosecutors, Facchiano supervised associates who committed robberies, money laundering, bank fraud and possessed stolen property from 1994 to 2006.

The charges carry a maximum sentence of 30-years in prison and $500,000 in fines, but under the plea agreement, prosecutors recommended Facchiano serve house arrest.

Prosecutors, defense lawyers and Mafia experts have said they can’t remember anyone that age facing crimes committed so recently.

“Is your mind OK?” Cohn asked Fracchiano, who will be 97 on March 10, in court at one point, a question Facchiano appeared to have trouble hearing.

“Oh, yes,” he eventually responded. “I can’t hear, but I can understand, your honor.”

The Murder of Captain Wanderwell

Mark Gribben’s posts on The Malefactor’s Register are better than 85% of any true crime series out there. ‘The Murder Of Captain Wanderwell” should be on the short list of the all-tie great Los Angeles true crime stories.

Take a suspected German spy, his beautiful wife, a soldier-of-fortune with a grudge, throw in a British peer, a mysterious “man in grey,” allegations of mutiny, and an unsolved murder aboard a barely seaworthy ship manned by an amateur crew of adventurers and you have a Hollywood melodrama that seems to write itself.

But the murder of 43-year-old Captain Walter Wanderwell in 1932 wasn’t dreamed up by Tinseltown scriptwriters. It happened in Long Beach not too far from Hollywood when Wanderwell, born Valerian Johannes Tieczynski — a German-Pole, was preparing his two-masted schooner, the Carma for a South Sea adventure cruise.