Quartz City

Everyone else is doing a compilation for the holidays, and well…

Disc 1:

1. XTC – “Psychedelic Christmas”
2. The cast of Twin Peaks – “The Twelve Days Of Christmas”
3. Patsy Raye – “Beatnik’s Wish”
4. The Ravers – “Punk Rock Christmas”
5. Tuscadero – “Holidays R Hell”
6. Dead Moon – “Christmas Rush”
7. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – “Big Yule Log Boogie”
8. Shitbirds – “Christmas Is A Comin’ (May God Bless You)”
9. The Chills – “Christmas Chimes”
10. The Wombles – “Wombling Merry Christmas”
11. Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 – “Fat Christmas”
12. Sparks – “Thank God It’s Not Christmas”
13. The Sensational Alex Harvey Band – “There’s No Lights On the Christmas Tree Mother, They’re Burning Big Louie Tonight”
14. Mystery Science Theater 3000 – “(Let’s Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas”
15. John Baker – “Christmas Commercial”
16. Man Or Astroman? – “Frosty The Snowman”
17. The Moog Machine – “O Holy Night”
18. August Darnell – “Christmas On Riverside Drive”
19. Hypnobeat – “Jingle Club”
20. The Raveonettes – “The Christmas Song”
21. The Walkmen – “Christmas Party”
22. Martin Mull – “Santa Doesn’t Cop Out on Dope”
23. Patty Duke and Norman Vincent Peale – “You Can Keep Christmas”
24. Half Man Half Biscuit – “All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit”

Disc 2:

1. Six Million Dollar Man – “Christmas Lights”
2. The Flaming Lips – “Christmas At The Zoo”
3. Madness – “Inanity Over Christmas”
4. Mark Mothersbaugh – “Rudolph The Space Deer”
5. The Go Go’s – “I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek”
6. Fountains Of Wayne – “I Want An Alien For Christmas”
7. Patty Marie Jay – “Space Age Santa Claus”
8. Pink Floyd – “Merry Xmas Song”
9. The Dickies – “Silent Night”
10. Grandaddy – “Alan Parsons In A Winter Wonderland”
11. Katie’s Kitchen – “Cooking A Delicious Holiday Ring Mold”
12. James Brown – “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto”
13. Saint Etienne – “I Don’t Intend To Spend Christmas Without You”
14. Giant Sand – “Thank You Dreaded Black Ice, Thank You”
15. Thin White Rope – “Christmas Skies”
16. Calexico – “Gift X-change”
17. Martin Mull – “Santafly”
18. Bad News – “Cashing In On Christmas”
19. unknown – “Rocking Disco Santa”
20. Steve Martin & Paul Simon – “Silver Bells”
21. Sally Kellerman – “O Little Town Of Bethlehem”
22. Spectrum – “Santa Claus”
23. Assistant Manager of the Haybridge – “Merry Christmas”

Are you guys so jaded and cynical about your American readers that you think you can’t sell a magazine over here unless it has some tired old American rock act on it? I was annoyed when you put Santana on the US issue instead of Kate Bush, incredibly irritated when Jim Morrison replaced a striking New Order cover, but you went too far for November 2004. Velvet fucking Revolver instead of John Peel? What the hell? Are you trying to generate negative sales?