Eastbound and down

Here we go again… <BULLWINKLE>This time fer shure!<BULLWINKLE>

Let’s see… Los Angeles with record rainfall (5″ in 24 hours), snow in the passes, and 60 mph wind gusts with lightning. Sounds like the perfect time to drive cross-country.

Riding shotgun with me are a PowerBook G4, a Rhinovirus Giant Microbe, an ancient scrabble board, several pounds of computer-related detritus, enough data on DVD-Rs to rival most national libraries, an octopus, several months worth of misc.transport.road postings, a lobster, and a 40GB iPod filled with disreputable disco, C-list psychsploitation, several days worth of BBC radio documentaries and Fifth Hope hacker conference audio, and the wiPod guide to free Wi-Fi networks.

Note to anyone contemplating purchasing a BMW: expect to spend $100 a month in repair and maintenance upkeep. It’s worth the hassle if you want to drive a nice car, but don’t complain if you’ve been putting things off for, say, a year and you want to have everything done. Just saying that you need to do the math.

Christmas Cookie Crumbs

christmas_cookie_crumbsEveryone else is doing a compilation for the holidays, and well…

Disc 1:

  1. XTC – “Psychedelic Christmas”
  2. The cast of Twin Peaks – “The Twelve Days Of Christmas”
  3. Patsy Raye – “Beatnik’s Wish”
  4. The Ravers – “Punk Rock Christmas”
  5. Tuscadero – “Holidays R Hell”
  6. Dead Moon – “Christmas Rush”
  7. Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – “Big Yule Log Boogie”
  8. Shitbirds – “Christmas Is A Comin’ (May God Bless You)”
  9. The Chills – “Christmas Chimes”
  10. The Wombles – “Wombling Merry Christmas”
  11. Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 – “Fat Christmas”
  12. Sparks – “Thank God It’s Not Christmas”
  13. The Sensational Alex Harvey Band – “There’s No Lights On the Christmas Tree Mother, They’re Burning Big Louie Tonight”
  14. Mystery Science Theater 3000 – “(Let’s Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas”
  15. John Baker – “Christmas Commercial”
  16. Man Or Astroman? – “Frosty The Snowman”
  17. The Moog Machine – “O Holy Night”
  18. August Darnell – “Christmas On Riverside Drive”
  19. Hypnobeat – “Jingle Club”
  20. The Raveonettes – “The Christmas Song”
  21. The Walkmen – “Christmas Party”
  22. Martin Mull – “Santa Doesn’t Cop Out on Dope”
  23. Patty Duke and Norman Vincent Peale – “You Can Keep Christmas”
  24. Half Man Half Biscuit – “All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit”

Disc 2:

  1. Six Million Dollar Man – “Christmas Lights”
  2. The Flaming Lips – “Christmas At The Zoo”
  3. Madness – “Inanity Over Christmas”
  4. Mark Mothersbaugh – “Rudolph The Space Deer”
  5. The Go Go’s – “I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas With A Dalek”
  6. Fountains Of Wayne – “I Want An Alien For Christmas”
  7. Patty Marie Jay – “Space Age Santa Claus”
  8. Pink Floyd – “Merry Xmas Song”
  9. The Dickies – “Silent Night”
  10. Grandaddy – “Alan Parsons In A Winter Wonderland”
  11. Katie’s Kitchen – “Cooking A Delicious Holiday Ring Mold”
  12. James Brown – “Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto”
  13. Saint Etienne – “I Don’t Intend To Spend Christmas Without You”
  14. Giant Sand – “Thank You Dreaded Black Ice, Thank You”
  15. Thin White Rope – “Christmas Skies”
  16. Calexico – “Gift X-change”
  17. Martin Mull – “Santafly”
  18. Bad News – “Cashing In On Christmas”
  19. unknown – “Rocking Disco Santa”
  20. Steve Martin & Paul Simon – “Silver Bells”
  21. Sally Kellerman – “O Little Town Of Bethlehem”
  22. Spectrum – “Santa Claus”
  23. Assistant Manager of the Haybridge – “Merry Christmas”

An open letter to the editors of Mojo Magazine

Are you guys so jaded and cynical about your American readers that you think you can’t sell a magazine over here unless it has some tired old American rock act on it? I was annoyed when you put Santana on the US issue instead of Kate Bush, incredibly irritated when Jim Morrison replaced a striking New Order cover, but you went too far for November 2004. Velvet fucking Revolver instead of John Peel? What the hell? Are you trying to generate negative sales?

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