Quartz City

I’m not the only person that’s looking for a copy of Alternative 3. Blackbeltjones is too.

Alternative-3 was a hoax TV documentary broadcast in the late 1970s.

It maintained there was a conspiracy between the scientific, military and economic elites of the world to escape a forthcoming planetary catastrophy by colonising Mars…

It was parodied perhaps by Douglas Adams with his Golgafrincham telephone-sanitisers, and shown at one of the Strange Attractor events in London.

So far, I’ve only managed to find some bad quality realmedia exerpts online, which is why I’m asking Ben’s new project, the Culture Lazyweb if anyone has an better digital version anywhere on the net.

When “the internet’s premier outdoor warning siren website” comes calling, you better pay attention! Otherwise “the world’s largest and loudest siren… ever!” will sound. Don’t know where the nearest siren to you is? Find out, and enter it in a contest or get one of your own.

An appreciation of the camera obscura. The nearest camera obscura to me. An entirely different Camera Obscura, but one I recommend.

Kraftwerk pose with their robot avatars in Moscow.

More press interviews need to be held in “Memorial Museums of Cosmonautics”

First the Food Network dissolved most of it’s “how to cook” programming in exchange for stunt shows and even more of the execrable Emeril. Then the Game Show Network dumps it’s classy 50s-era reruns for a “contemporary, youth-based image”. Then, Al Gore buys out my favorite news channel NWI and plans to transform it “into an independent station for twentysomething viewers.” Now, TechTV, which admittedly I didn’t watch much except for the occasional rerun of Max Headroom and The Thunderbirds has been bought out:

One laid-off employee told me that in pursuit of the young male demographic, Comcast has an incentive to replace these veteran computer-industry personalities with twentysomethings.

If that’s true, I worry that we won’t be seeing any more of TSS’s trademark interviews with brilliant-but over-30-industry pioneers like Jef Raskin, Robert Moog, Don Norman and Douglas Engelbart.

In fact, you have to wonder what interviews and cutting-edge demos they’ll offer at all, since Comcast is moving what’s left of TechTV from San Francisco (high-tech country) to L.A. (video-game country).

Then there’s the new Web site, G4TechTV.com, which is a blinking, pulsing organizational disaster. Its chaos doesn’t say much for the show’s new guardians, although the G4TechTV spokesman reminded me that the two channels merged only last Friday, on a holiday weekend. He assured me that the Web site will constantly improve.

The real tragedy is that a merged gamer-PC channel might not be any more likely to succeed than two separate channels did; in fact, you might argue that the combined channel will disappoint both constituencies equally. As one disappointed fan wrote on G4’s feedback board: “They think they can attract a larger, younger demographic by just putting on younger faces. These people, however, will not feel the pinch until the ratings plummet down the road. It happened where I worked before.”

Three things: First off, if network programmers really want to capture the younger demographic then suspend all programming and only distribute shows via BitTorrent. Otherwise you’re only wasting electricity. Second, if you are a network programmer and are reading this, FUCK OFF! Third, if you are a network programmer then before you fuck off please hire me as a cultural consultant. I’m always a good year to two years ahead of Big Media in determining what is cool. My success rate is 100% and I’m ready and willing to sell out.

Getting back to the Food Network, Alton Brown is asked what he would do if he ran the network and his answers are interesting and pretty much on the money.

I would put old cooking shows on in late night…Julia, Kerr, all the old classics that are really cool. I’d turn late night into a food version of TV land but not before my one hour talk show in the 11:30 slot. That’s right Dave, I’m comin’ after your worn out butt!

I’d produce more documentaries and specials and I’d make Tony Bourdain actually cook something on television, by force if necessary. I’d give a cooking show to a lunch room lady from mid-America. I’d produce more Iron Chefs but I’d find a female Iron Chef first.

I’d find someone to do a realistic, but within reason Mexican food show. I’d bring back Bill Bogg’s Corner Table and David Rosengarten…though I’d make the later shave. I’d do away with stock photography and Voice Overs would be restricted to 8% of a show’s total run time.

That’s all just for starters. Oh, and I’d never, ever put a show in front of a focus group….ever.

The zombies have taken over, the ice age occurred, and everyone decided to cut loose with the nukes. How much time do you have to set up the solar panels and wind turbines before the electrical grid fail? The Straight Dope takes a look…

Bottom line? My guess is that within 4-6 hours there would be scattered blackouts and brownouts in numerous areas, within 12 hours much of the system would be unstable, and within 24 hours most portions of the United States and Canada, aside from a rare island of service in a rural area near a hydroelectric source, would be without power. Some installations served by wind farms and solar might continue, but they would be very small. By the end of a week, I’d be surprised if more than a few abandoned sites were still supplying power.

The Russian Soyuz space capsule has to make an emergency landing in the United States! What do you do? Read your official Air Force Rescue Coordination Center PDF file, that’s what! I wonder if there is an ATF import form for the Soyuz’s standard equipment sawed-off shotgun?

This is nothing new though, read up about “Ugol Pasadki.” Countdown to when “Ugol Pasadki” is used as a stoner rock band name begins in 5… 4… 3…

Alan Radecki on the Mojave Airport list sent out the following update on Monday morning’s attempt at the X-Prize:

Hi all,

Starting today, I plan on sending out a daily update on the activities surrounding the SpaceShipOne launch.

• The flight is scheduled to commence at 0630 Monday 6/21, however that is dependent on weather. Should there be a weather delay, such as winds, the folks at Scaled plan on waiting and launching as soon as the weather permits, even if it stretches to the next day.
• The public will enter the airport from the main Airport Blvd entrance off of Hwy 58. The airport will open at 3am, but it is pretty much assumed around here that there will be so many people showing up that the roads will be clogged. RVs will be permitted in the day before, with reservations (661/824-2433). I know that there’s already 89 coming, some of whom are NASA folks who are bringing a band and everything. Regular vehicles will be charged $10 entrance fee (to help mitigate the huge cost of security that the airport has to bear), and I can’t remember the RV cost…check mojaveairport.com for details. Don’t try to avoid the traffic by coming in the back entrances…these are for VIPs with passes and tenants with ID badges.
• There will be a TFR, and only aircraft with PPR numbers will be permitted into the airspace, starting on Saturday, I believe. Again, see mojaveairport.com for details.
• If you don’t make it onto the airport, you’ll still see the firing…it’ll be visible for miles.
• There will be food and consessions selling souveniers, with all profits going to local charities.
• There will be a press conference 2 hours after the flight, at which time the FAA will award the first ever Commercial Pilot’s License with Astronaut rating.

LACMA is having another all night open house on Thursday - this one with a tiki theme. The last all night party had a three hour wait to get in, but if you RSVP at LACMA’s web site you can beat the lines. Assuming that not everyone dog piles on the web site that is.

See you at the “Beyond Geometry” exhibition!