End Times researchers, reprogram your calculators.
A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it’s actually the far less ominous 616.
In a related story Grand Rapids, Michigan files to have it’s area code changed.
Now I finally understand the reason that my life has been so accursed since 1972. Starting in that year, until 1986, my home address was 616 No. Maple Dr. Fourteen years of unadulterated exposure to evil. Think of how many times I must have uttered and copied that address. . .