From: Kevin J. Bonham, sleepycat@eudoramail.com Subject: Moron critic gets his own back :) Date: 2/11/2002 2:53:12 AM To: seance@lists.no-fi.com This guy is so sad, he's not even worth feeling angry about. A defective mouse that strayed into the path of a chuckling and callous sleepycat. I almost felt sorry for him as I posted the following to the message board of his site: ------------------------------------ Category: Music From: Sleepycat Subject: Reviewer review: Damon Peter Rallis I'm not ashamed to say that, in senior high, I was one of those "freaks" that the jocks would pick on because I hated to play sports, I "dressed funny," and my idea of a fun Saturday night was sitting at home alone with my extensive collection of music criticism. As I got older though, I eventually put away my Trouser Press, tore my Penguin Guide to Popular Music to shreds and jumped headfirst into my existence. Don't get me wrong, some of those critics helped shape the person that I am today and, once in a great while - usually when I'm feeling nostalgic - I'll revisit some of them. I'll think about everything that has happened to me in the past 12 years and I realize that I wouldn't change a thing. But the one down side to getting old, is watching your critics get old with you. I can't tell you how disappointing it was, three years ago, to see Q magazine giving Britney Spears three stars out of five. Someone should have put that fat cow (Britney and Q both actually) out to pasture years ago. Where am I going with this? Oh yeah... Damon Peter Rallis. What an appropriate reviewer name! Remember that review he wrote yesterday? At the risk of sounding cliche, (and I can't remember it or the band it reviewed because I know nothing about your site and just dropped in to take the piss out of your useless reviewer) it would definitely appear on my "Top 500 Reviews of Yesterday" list. That was a long time ago, however, and, I gotta tell ya, I can't believe that this guy has been pumping out a steady stream of reviews since fifteen minutes ago. For God's sake... go away already! I'm confident when I say that this reviewer will be a waste of your time. If you disagree, you're still holding on to the past. If this is the case, I beg you, seek professional help. - Kevin James Bonham. (Not sorry at all, Mr Rallis, but you have the unique honour of writing the stupidest, least logical, least well-argued review of the Church's new album. That you choose to bracket them with Fat Bob and that whiner Morrissey shows further how little you understand. Now, next time you want to review something, I have a real suggestion for you: ****Talk about the music, and not yourself*** Is that really so difficult? and another one: *** Use actual evidence rather than simply complaining about a band lasting longer than anything you could ever hope to accomplish*** (Do I detect an envy complex here? Normally I wouldn't stoop to unsubstantiated psychological abuse, but hey, you started it :) ) Is that really so difficult? Readers: People like Rallis are an example of everything that is wrong with music criticism today. Go elsewhere if you want reviews that help you find the music you will love. ---------------------------------------------- Cheers, Kevin PS Well done Nick on finding the words written on the sign. --- Self-Appointed President, Oxydental Fan Club Join 18 million Eudora users by signing up for a free Eudora Web-Mail account at http://www.eudoramail.com