Heldon chicken – started crossing the road in an electrifyingly anarchistic manner then exploded in a fireball half-way across.
Genesis chicken (with Peter) – danced across, then spread its wings and ascended slowly into the sky. Then the sun came out and all the peoples of the world rejoiced. The new Jerusalem was at hand. Utopia found.
Genesis chicken (after Peter) – kept promising it would cross tonight, tonight, tonight… but it never did. And will it ever? Inquiring minds want to know.
Hawkwind chicken – Made it almost all the way across when it was abducted by evil sadistic cryogenically recycled alien acolates from Zorkon Beta 5QX7 who were collecting Earth specimens for interplanetary scientific research.
Soft Machine chicken – This totally hip chicken was wearing totally rad rectangular spectacles that were so dark and cool looking, it couldn’t see where it was going. It managed to eventually improvise its way across the road.
Legendary Pink Dots chicken – not knowing what a road was, this chicken crossed a gulfstream instead. Remember, relativity over objectivity equals art.
Van Der Graaf Generator chicken – flapped haphazardly into the middle of the road, then rolled onto its back, kicking its legs in the air clucking incessantly.
Peter Hammill chicken – Did the same as the Van Der Graaf chicken, but it also pecked at the pavement violently until its beak was chipped and bloody, then stared painfully into the sun yelling verses from The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner.
Yes chicken – Steadfastedly refused to cross the road. Period.
Rick Wakeman chicken – Thumbed its beak at the Yes chicken and waltzed across the road while eating some KFC and chain smoking unfilter Camels.
Patrick Moraz chicken – tripped and fell down half-way across because some idiot left a half-eaten bucket of KFC lying in the middle of the road.
ELP chicken – shot like a cannon across the road, accompanied by swirling fog, atmospheric explosions and fireworks. Tickets to see this highly hyped event were $34.95 and/or £53.
King Crimson chicken – Started to cross the road, but when it got to the center decided that the whole idea of chickens crossing roads was stupidly conceited and overdone. But after sitting on the shoulder watching all the other chickens crossing merrily, it decided it really did want to cross after all.
Pink Floyd chicken – This half-machine, half-animal chicken,instead of crossing the road, would flag down cars and peck the drivers to death.
Amon Duul chicken – Crossed the road by running through a drainage culvert, marveling at the way its movements echoed through the galvanized steel. Went into the Black Forest to experience nature on LSD.
Amon Duul II chicken – Crossed the road like the Amon Duul chicken, but it was suffering from delusions of grandeur, thinking it was a secret agent on a mission to find out where in the world Carmen Sandiego is.
Mike Oldfield chicken – shyly crossed the road when it was sure no one was looking. Incidently, it made the road it crossed. Also, it manufactured the asphalt used to make the road, as well as chip the rock used in the production of the asphalt, as well as invent the use of pavement for roadways to begin with.
Can chicken – BECAUSE IT CAN! End of story.
It’s raining steadily in Los Angeles. We celebrate the coming of rain here by driving extra-dangerously while racing home to see how fast the local television news update their “Stormwatch!” graphics.