Quartz City

Goddamnit…

Our last day will Sunday, January 13th, 2008.

We’ve been at 1710 Silver Lake Blvd since 2001 [they mean 1991 -CKB]- going on seventeen years! We’ve been in business since 1989 - almost twenty years! Feels like twenty minutes. Whoosh!

I wish I could say we are leaving happily, but the snarky fact is that our landlady, Myrna Marin, owner of Modem Salon, kicked us out with only thirty days notice in December. I guess this was her Christmas present to us and our staff. Well, at least that’s how we’re taking it.

We’ve far outgrown our current space and now we get to do business in a bigger location. As we finalize those arrangements we will post new info. I wish I could say how long that will take, but over the years I have learned that nothing happens as quickly or as slowly as we need it.

What we do know is that our staff will stay with us until this last day and will follow us to our new location and we hope our beloved customers will do the same. We have had a rare privilege in getting to know and serve all of our wonderful neighbors over the years. We hope to be able to do this for another twenty years. At least.

Much love,
Deborah and Reno.

P.S. We will happily accept letters from any and all of you who would like wish us well, tell us what we’ve meant to you, or tell our new landlord how happy you’d be to have us in a new location.

OK so upfront, I’m somewhat neutral on rent raise/gentrification issues (yeah, blight is generally bad but be careful what you wish for), but this kicks me in the teeth. Back Door’s coffee, buttermilk scones, and ginger pear muffins have been a fundamental part of my Los Angeles commuting life since 1994. Their baked stuff is consistently outstanding and I’m going to be extra irritated by their absence. I hope they have a new place lined up soon.

It appears some irony lights are burning out there because landlady Marin’s web page has this quote:

A native Angeleno, Myrna earned her license before she even graduated high school. At 25, she opened her own salon on a sleepy stretch of Silver Lake Boulevard. Now the area is ground zero for the progressive Silver Lake scene, something that was established by artists like Myrna who saw the potential of the neighborhood and built it from the ground up.

So apparently it’s now time to purge out those artists. I can’t help but think that this takes a sawed-off shotgun to the entire middle section of Silver Lake Blvd. Back Door caters to a lot of folks: commuters, dog parkers, shambling musicians all of whom wouldn’t have any reason to pay attention to that strip of Silver Lake Blvd. during the day. It’s going to be a ghost town down there.

Meanwhile, the replacement restaurant for the still-missed Netty’s was supposed to open a year ago. It hasn’t yet. If memory serves, this leaves only Leela Thai, Michelangelo and the 7-11 as the only evening eating options. Sigh.

We interrupt our participation in Anti-NaBloPoMo (a negative space to counter the posting NaBloPoMo hordes) for the following announcement: Scientists working feverishly in the Quartz City labs have reached a critical objective proof. This is The Best Ice Cream in the Known World…

Fosselman’s makes a damn fine ice cream, and to be honest - any of their ice creams handily trounce most available options. Three out of four times I’m ready to make that drive out to Alhambra, but sometimes you want something that is so over-the-top ridiculous that it’ll make Coldstone cower in fear and give fever dreams to Red Bull drinkers. Enter McConnell’s Turkish Coffee. Pull off the lid and you’re confronted with, well, something that looks like a soiled ash tray.

Yes those are ground espresso beans in there.

This is not an attempt to generate some nerdfury. McConnell’s Turkish Coffee is the Best Ice Cream in the Known World. Full stop. I challenge some of the other worlds out there to come up with something better.

I’m not much of a hamburger eater these days, but when I have a cold all I want to eat are hamburgers. Full-on king hell gravity-well craving. Specifically I’m looking for a burger from an extra hot grill that has a nice crispy char to the outside of the beef with a thick zone of medium rare inside. The bun only needs to be sufficient enough to sop up the juice. Anything else is unnecessary (cheese, bacon, and onions are OK. Pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, and dressing are not). As much as I love the Apple Pan, Pie And Burger, and Tommy’s (which really belongs in its own category) they don’t really satisfy the I’m-sick-want-burger crave. Sorry In-N-Out fans, but you’re just not on the radar.

If I was anywhere near Portland I’d be on my way to Burgerville right now as it’s dead on what I want. The bacon burger at Sidewalk Cafe on Glenoaks gets about 70% of the way there. Still looking…

Mildmannered Top Gear presenter James May is challenged in a culinary manliness test by blowhard chef Gordon Ramsay. Hilarity ensues.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKEPPw5Jd2M[/youtube]

1. When in Iceland, stay away (preferably several rooms away) from the Hákarl.

2. Go Captain Slow!

I was just finishing up this post about Montrose when I noticed Atwater Village Newbie posting about it today too. And yeah - unlike the morass of dubious “Old Town [name of city]” downtown revitalizations around LA county, Montrose has gone directly from 1975 to 2007 completely unscathed. The signage, the store fronts, and even the businesses themselves haven’t changed at all.

The Montrose bowling alley is total Charles Phoenix bait:

I love the fonts, the glass bricks, and the two tone green but the detail that makes it is the bowling pins on the front of the planter box. I doubt that this building has changed at all in fifty years. Certainly the inside of it hasn’t.

If you go for the architecture make sure you stay for the food. Tbe “Vietnamese Fusion” sign outside Pho 21 might scare off some purists, but their pho is yummy with a strong broth and noodles that can stand up to it. Perhaps more to the point, Pho 21 is the only pho place in this part of town and I’m glad that it’s a good one.

If you need no other reason to go to Montrose, then at least go for La Cabinita. It’s one of the best Mexican restaurants in Los Angeles and the best mole this side of Guelaguetza.

The Hot Dog Show of Toluca Lake (as seen in the original 1956 Invasion Of The Body Snatchers)

And how it looks now.

It’s called Papoo’s Hot Dog Show now, but it’s still standing at the corner of Rose and Riverside in Toluca Lake since it opened in 1949. Good dogs too!

(Snatchers photo from Nostalgia Party No. 2)

The CrispyCone website commands us to introspect:

Isn’t it time to reinvent the way we eat our favorite foods?

Errr… Is it? Where does that pesky favorite food issue resides on the queue of the world’s problems? I can’t deny your logic though:

After all, we do everything differently than we did just a few years ago. The music industry has MP3’s. Cell phones got built-in cameras. Laptops went the wireless internet way.

Holy shit! You’re right! Please CrispyCones, tell us how to fix the problems with our favorite foods!

CrispyCones will forever change the way we look at meals on the go, with a new, fun alternative to traditional fast food. Made with nutritious ingredients and delivered in a smart drip-free cone that complements the delicious flavors of the food, the Crispy Cone lets you enjoy your favorite foods in a modern and environmentally-smart new way.

Wait what’s that about smart, drip-free cones? Are the cones intelligent or are they nice looking?

To meet the needs of the healthy, selective and environmentally conscious consumer. Not only is the shape of the cone different than anything else out there, it’s also different in concept: Nutritious. Responsible. Delicious. Prepared with care and thought. Environmentally smart, because it leaves no waste, and uses no utensils.
Prepared with freshly selected ingredients, served in a unique crispy, tasty dough, and filled with lean meats and fresh vegetables, the Crispy Cone caters to the taste buds as well as the needs of the health-conscious diner on the go.

With its easy-to-handle shape, the Crispy Cone is the food you’ll love to eat on the move. Whether in the car, the mall, or walking down the street, the Crispy Cone lets you enjoy its delicious, hassle-free flavors while shuffling through your MP3, driving your car, working at your desk or talking on your cell phone.

Ah yes, flavor is such a freaking hassle. I have to tell your marketing guys something though. DO NOT continue to use those cute pun names like Veggiecone, Chicone, and the hideously named Porcone. It doesn’t work for Burgerpipe and it certainly isn’t going to make your revolting products any easier to take seriously, much less eat. Both product and product name are the punch line to a fifth-grade vomit joke.

I fear for you Arcadia.

On the other hand, maybe the cone menace can be repelled by some Season Shots a.k.a. The Ammo With Flavor. The website copy needs no embellishment:

Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!

1. Load your gun with Season Shot and let the hunt begin. Watch as your bird is seasoned on impact leaving no harmful waste behind in the environment.

2. Forget about removing shot, prepare the whole bird for dinner! The Season Shot pellets will melt in the oven seasoning the entire bird.

3. Enjoy! No wasted time, no wasted meat, no waste left behind. Finally there’s a better way!

Unlike the ridiculous conespawn, Season Shot takes their competitors head on:

Season Shot
- Our ammo has flavor
- Seasoning from the field to the stove
- Season Shot is nature friendly leaving no shot to litter our environment
- No shot left in the bird to chip your teeth
- Cook the ENTIRE bird as it’s flavored from the inside out!

Other Brands
- No flavor here
- Seasoning after the bird has been breasted
- Even non-toxic shot clutters our environment with unwanted litter
- Traditional ammo forces you to breast your bird losing time and meat
- With traditional ammo it’s hard enough to cook a whole bird let alone season it from the inside

Season Shot also wins because they have a cute mascot of a shotgun shell with a chef’s hat. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this was a SubGenius prank.

It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth day in Italy when I noticed something… Since leaving LAX we hadn’t encountered a single Starbucks. No stores, no hotels “proud to exclusively serve Starbucks,” nothing in the airports or train stations.

Apparently, no rioting anarchists are needed to keep back cultural imperialism. There’s no Starbucks in Italy because there’s no way they can compete against non-burned, non-watery coffee that’s served in a real cup (instead of cardboard) for €1.20. I knew that coffee in Italy was good, but I didn’t expect just how thoroughly good it is everywhere. The espresso at the airport (a traditional home of caffinated swill) is just as terrific as the espresso at a local cafe. Even the espresso on the Eurostar was pretty good - just make sure to get it from the dining car and not the mobile cart.

There had to be some news on Starbucks versus Italy, for Cthulhu’s sake it’s a whole country without one, and what I turned up was all good-luck-you’ll-need-it-har-har. Back in 1998, CEO Howard Schultz delusionally claimed that “When talking to people in the coffee business in Italy there is an underground feeling–they won’t say this publicly–that they want us to come. We spur growth.” Today, free free to raise a steaming cup of schadenfreude as Schultz has a Captain Obvious moment:

Starbucks has lost its soul and does not know where to find it.

Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz lamented as much in a recent internal memo to his executives. He wrote that as the world’s largest specialty coffee company has expanded from fewer than 1,000 locations to about 13,000, its stores no longer even smell like coffee because of “flavor-locked packaging.”

His memo grieved, too, over the loss of “the romance and theatre” of traditional Italian espresso makers, which have been replaced by automatic machines. Schultz wrote that the new machines, while more efficient, block customers from watching as coffee drinks are made and sharing what he called an “intimate experience with the barista.”

“One of the results has been stores that no longer have the soul of the past,” he wrote. “Some people even call our stores sterile, cookie cutter, no longer reflecting the passion our partners feel about our coffee.”

The leak of Schultz’s lost-our-soul memo has generated buzz on business pages. But it has occasioned only a shrug from the caffeine cognoscenti in Seattle, which has more coffee shops per capita than any other major U.S. city.

For most Seattleites, what Schultz called “the watering down of the Starbucks experience” is stale news - akin to reports that the Seattle SuperSonics are a losing NBA team or that Seattle winters are wet.

“Like, duh, I have felt that way about Starbucks for 10 years,” said Sean Seery, 36, an acupuncturist who sat one recent morning outside Victrola, a popular independent coffee shop on Seattle’s Capitol Hill.

Meanwhile, can someone recommend a place in Glendale that can make a cappuccino like that one I had in Venice pictured above? Simulacrums will not be tolerated.

Millions of students around the world raise their bowls in respect.

Momofuku Ando, the Japanese inventor of instant noodles, has died, according to Nissin Food Products Co, the company he founded. He was 96.

Ando died of a heart attack on Friday, Nissin said in a statement today on its corporate website.

He was born in Taiwan in 1910, when the island was under Japanese colonial rule. He moved to Japan in 1933, according to Japan’s daily Mainichi newspaper.

Faced with food shortages in post Second World War Japan, Ando developed the idea that a quality, convenient noodle product would help feed the masses. He founded Nissin in 1948.

In 1958 Chicken Ramen, the first instant noodle product, was introduced after many trials. Following its success, the company continued to add innovative products, including Cup Noodle in 1971.

I rent a storage unit across the street from the Nissin plant in Irvine. Always thought it was a good omen…

In an utterly synchronistic event, both me and The New Diner independently visited Billy’s Deli in Glendale.

I first ran across Billy’s in the mid-80s when I was busy filling going through the Thomas Guide pages and figuring out where in LA county I hadn’t been yet. On that first trip to Glendale, I had a pretty good corned beef sandwich there and filed it away for further information in case I didn’t want to make the drive to Canter’s or Nate & Al’s. Billy’s has been around since 1948 and I doubt that the inside has changed much since then. Pretty remarkable given all the construction that’s going on in downtown Glendale right now. I suspect that in a couple years, Billy’s is going to be like that Chock Full O’Nuts diner in New York City that held up the completion of One Liberty Plaza for years.

The food at Billy’s is the oldest of the old-school comfort food. I had the corned beef plate with potato pancakes and it had just the right amounts of fat and grease to maintain authenticity. The bread and apple sauce are pretty stock though, and for the price ($13) I’d skip the corned beef plate and go straight for the sandwich instead. Is it good? For the most part. Is it satisfying? Heck yeah!

I can’t wait until the weather cools down enough to order the matzo ball soup (which if memory serves, is pretty outstanding there).